My Lynyrd Skynyrd T-Shirt keeps getting me in fights

By Jacob Pumphrey.

I recently got my hands on a nice old crusty Lynyrd Skynyrd T-shirt. This sassy little number has been quite the bone of contention of late - a real hot pot of controversy.

You see I’ve been on the hunt for this particular shirt for a few years and this one had the nerve to just land right in my lap. The shirt in question is a faded black number, it totes a large rip-off Jack Daniels logo on the front (a good start) and has the words “Support Southern Rock” scrawled on the back (as if the Jack Logo wasn’t enough). I grew up south of Sydney so therefore in my mind I am a Southerner, I don’t mind a spot of Jack Daniels and am pretty partial to a bit a the old rock n roll too, as you could imagine, I’ve been wearing this thing with pride. The problem is, almost every time I do, some ill-informed individual feels compelled to tell me that they suck. The first few times I responded how you’d expect and our “conversation” continued much how you’d expect. I don’t like getting kicked out of pubs, and I don’t like being told that Skynyrd suck, but it seems to me that the two are bound to co-exist.

The shirt in disguise (Click here for more True Vintage and Band Tees)

I need to find a solution to the problem, is it possible I’ve been mislead? Have I been listening to shitty redneck country this entire time without realising it? I took to Spotify and YouTube to re-affirm my beliefs.

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Top Tracks

1. Sweet Home Alabama

Alright, this song sucks. Not off to a great start, but this is an absolute stinker, they should have taken the opportunity to wash their hands of this one and signed the writing credits over to Kid Rock back in 2008.

2. Free Bird

One word, solo. It’s just solo’s, solo’s and more fucking solo’s in this song, I’m pretty sure the final one has a dog barking in it (8:20 -8:30) – I think this is actually “Ronnie Van Zant’s” voice, he’s probably part canine. Seriously though this song is pretty much just one big ass 9 minute solo - come to think of it almost every Lynyrd Skynyrd song is just solo’s - is solo rock a genre? If it isn’t it should be and Gary Rossington should be the first person in the hall of fame - I actually did some research after this and found out it landed itself #3 in the Guitar World “100 greatest guitar solo’s” it ain’t a 1st, but its close enough.

3. Simple Man

The first time I ever heard this song was on a Snowboard video part, it blew my mind. I was actually listening to a lot of Graveyard at the time, they were new to me and I thought that their ballad The Siren and Simple Man we’re extremely similar and both equally as epic. For anyone who didn’t know, Graveyard are Swedish, and that’s in Europe which means this song has class and isn’t redneck at all. Simple Man is a message from mother to son about slowing down and living a “simple” life, the heavy blues guitar and the slow southern drawl add a mood to this song that just gets me right in them feels. The irony of this song shouldn’t be lost on anybody as, Lynyrd Skynyrd’s frontman Ronnie Van Zant passed away in a plane accident 4 years after it’s release. His hard and fast life was well documented and he was quoted by many as saying that he would never live to see his 30th birthday, perhaps this song was a warning to himself. If you’ve never heard this song, go and blast it while you shotgun a few beers next to a bbq – you’ll shed a few tears and it’ll make way more sense after that.

4. Gimme Three Steps

Alrighty, a tiny break from guitar solo’s and depth this song is just good plain country fun, it’s got a god damn cowbell in the intro – that’s how you know your in for a good time. I always loved that Lynyrd Skynyrd never really played the tough guy card, from a time and place where everything was drenched in testosterone this is literally a song about running away from a fight. I’m pretty sure he even admits that he pissed his pants, or maybe he just cried a puddle of “water on the floor” but either way nobody’s acting tough here, that’s the kind of honesty I can really get behind.

5. Tuesday's Gone

This song has without a doubt of the greatest guitar riff’s of all time. Happy Gilmore would have sucked without this song and that’s actually saying a lot. I realise Adam Sandler now is the butt of all Netflix jokes, the poster boy of the regurgitated Romcom formula and cheap gags but the Happy Gilmore Adam Sandler that we all knew was actually funny, and Happy Gilmore was possibly his finest work, if looking up at the sky and seeing Chubbs staring back with this playing softly over top didn’t melt your heart then chances are you don’t have one. Fun fact - Tuesday in this song is actually the name of a girl and not the least important day of the week, kind of explains the long sad solo and organ I guess.

Ok so there you have it 5…… make it 4 great songs and one unmentionable done and dusted, try and tell me that they suck now.

PS: I've you're a fan of vintage band tees, keep your eyes peeled for fresh drops of our original Californian Vintage Tees [*hint* there might be one coming this week]